Change I must

The feeling of hopelessness is on me. I have very low faith and yet I am unwiling to face the task ahead of me. I am running away from my task when the going gets tough. I guess this is the weakness that has been rooted in me since young. Being a pampered child of my granny does have consequences. I was told if it gets too hard you can give up and hence there was never once a task I started out has been completed because I am afraid of hardwork.
Yep this is the hard reality I have to face and endure and overcome.
I overcoming and starting over at this age is really tough and to have no fear of hardwork and enduring hardship is once that I would avoid at any length 'cos fat old me hates it.
Yep there are lots of faults I have to overcome... low self-esteem, procastination, glutonny, easily give up and slowness. So far this are the faults that God is highlighting and making me acknowledge and change. Change I must or I end up being bitter and helpless. Pastor says our body needs 3 days to adapt to changes and 30 days to form habits. He also says in today's sermon burning coal in Isaiah 6:6 represent the coal soak in the blood of Christ and refine in fire.
It tells me that I am forgiven for my sins yes those old bad habits are my sins and I have to die to myself and be refine/ purify by fire. A hard decision for me. I guess in the end I will chose this road but at times I do get weak and revert back to my old habits. That is why constant prayer and the word of God must be my companion for all eternity. They are my stenght.

You can't judge a book by its cover.

How true it is they saying that you can't judge a book by it's cover.
I went to Redang with a collegue expecting a very 'siu jie' kind of person and found that she actual isn't. She actually can backpack very well, has the stamina for it and has a knack of making friends everywhere even a the entrance of Mydin, she made friends with the guard. Amazing girl. I stand humble and corrected at my assumption of her.

A valuable lesson learnt of not assuming characters of friends. People change and react to situation differently. Sometimes we are so biase in our assumption of them that we forgot to give them a chance to prove themselves.