Change I must

The feeling of hopelessness is on me. I have very low faith and yet I am unwiling to face the task ahead of me. I am running away from my task when the going gets tough. I guess this is the weakness that has been rooted in me since young. Being a pampered child of my granny does have consequences. I was told if it gets too hard you can give up and hence there was never once a task I started out has been completed because I am afraid of hardwork.
Yep this is the hard reality I have to face and endure and overcome.
I overcoming and starting over at this age is really tough and to have no fear of hardwork and enduring hardship is once that I would avoid at any length 'cos fat old me hates it.
Yep there are lots of faults I have to overcome... low self-esteem, procastination, glutonny, easily give up and slowness. So far this are the faults that God is highlighting and making me acknowledge and change. Change I must or I end up being bitter and helpless. Pastor says our body needs 3 days to adapt to changes and 30 days to form habits. He also says in today's sermon burning coal in Isaiah 6:6 represent the coal soak in the blood of Christ and refine in fire.
It tells me that I am forgiven for my sins yes those old bad habits are my sins and I have to die to myself and be refine/ purify by fire. A hard decision for me. I guess in the end I will chose this road but at times I do get weak and revert back to my old habits. That is why constant prayer and the word of God must be my companion for all eternity. They are my stenght.